Whew! This month has been a whirlwind. As I mentioned in my last post, this month was very busy for me. The first weekend I went to a wedding (18 hours roundtrip on the road). I’ve known the groom since high school and we were roommates for two years in college. The second weekend me and my fiancee (yep, I’m engaged! A post on this is forthcoming) went to her brother’s graduation (10 hours round trip on the road). The following weekend started our 6 day beach vacation (7 hours one way). After the beach, we went straight to a conference where I was giving a presentation (8 and a half hours one way). Then after a few days, came back home (9 hours one way). So after a month filled with more than 52.5 hours on the road, you may be wondering at the title of this post.
Money issues are the source of a lot of our stress and problems. Especially if you have joint finances with a spouse. Here’s an article from the New York Times with research that suggests what everyone with a brain already knows: finance-related tensions raise the risk of divorce. Here’s one from About.com’s ‘Divorce Support’ section that lists “Economic Tensions” as one of only four valid reasons to divorce your spouse.
But even if you aren’t married and worried about someone else, money is still a big stressor for most of us. In this article I’m going to offer you some good advice that also happens to be common sense. I know that in some circles it’s rude to talk about money, and it can be a touchy subject, but (unless you have oodles and oodles of money) having a financial plan is absolutely required for long-term happiness, so here goes.
This is the second post in the Challenge series. Here’s the first one. The rules are 1) I will only challenge you to do something if I think it will make you happier, and 2) I will never challenge you to do something illegal (so don’t interpret it that way). So here is the challenge: I challenge you to commit a random act of kindness for a random stranger every day this week.
Who doesn’t love Pulp Fiction? A classic Tarantino film, with an absolutely all-star cast. My favorite scene is the final one in the diner where Jules (Samuel L Jackson) is talking to the would-be robbers. Here’s a good little clip of it (warning: explicit language). Anyway, I own the movie and as I type this I am looking at it over on my DVD shelf. Even though that scene is totally awesome, it’s not the one that gives this post its title. The idea for this post comes from a deleted scene (explicit language). It takes place in the home of Marsellus Wallace, when Vincent goes to meet Mia to take her to dinner. She tells him, “Now I’m going to ask you a bunch of questions I’ve come up with that more or less tell me what kind of person I’m having dinner with.” One of the questions is the following:
“A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior.
In other words, a positive or negative prophecy, strongly held belief, or delusion – declared as truth when it is actually false – may sufficiently influence people so that their reactions ultimately fulfill the once-false prophecy.”
Pretty interesting. I remember the first time I ever heard of this phenomenon. I was a psychology minor in college, because I find psychology really interesting and it helped break up my science-heavy major classes. One of the classes I took was called “The Psychology of Close Relationships.” One day in class we had a big discussion about how our expectations are self-fulfilling prophecies. In other words, if you think something will happen, then you subconsciously act in a way that encourages that thing to happen.